I was never one to speak up. About anything. I always joked that I could never be involved with a protest because I didn't feel passionately about one thing or another. It's kind of sad, when I write it out like this, but if I'll be nothing else for this community, I'll be honest. I remember rallying behind the fair trade movement and working on a campaign against capital punishment when I interned at the Archdiocese of San Francisco while I was in college, but I can't say that I had a burning in my heart for either of those topics either. I may have avoided speaking out because I never wanted to "rock the boat" while growing up. Even in school, I was always the 11th person in class to raise my hand and answer the teacher's question because I was fearful of providing the wrong answer...or one others would judge me for.
That all changed a few years after college when I found my voice as a teacher. My first job after getting my Masters in Teaching was as a high school English teacher at an all boys' Catholic high school in the San Francisco Bay Area. Let me tell you: standing in a room full of teenage boys who were sticky with sweat and itching to get me to crack under the slightest bit of pressure forced me to figure out who I was and what I wanted to say. Fast. I found my confidence as a teacher because I had to be an expert in what I was teaching. I can still tell you anything you want to know about Hamlet, Lord of the Flies and why effective communication is key. I loved learning the material juuuuuust ahead of the students, and finding ways to make the concepts relevant to them. If someone had told me, when I was a shy high school student, that one day I would be comfortable speaking in front of groups of 30, seven times a day, five days a week for years on end, I would have rolled my eyes. I would have paid money to avoid speaking in front of people for the rest of my life, to tell you the truth! But confidence is the code to effective teaching. I could nev
er have explained the depth of Hamlet without the strength of character it took to engage skeptical teenagers--they would have chewed me up and spat me back out. I had to be fearless, taking chances with various teaching strategies hoping one would would work. I loved my time as a teacher, and only now, looking back, do I see the gift it was. Teaching gave me a purpose, and my passion for helping people was born. Standing in front of my students every day taught me more than I taught them, I can tell you that. Speaking up became easier each school year and I never could have imagined how important it would become for me, and more importantly, for Buster.
After Buster was diagnosed with his strokes and cerebral palsy, my husband and I became immersed in the world of health insurance appeals, medical appointments, educational needs, physical and occupational therapies, etc. As I'm sure you know, the realm of health and medical needs is...vast. There are specialists I didn't know existed, "standard" surgical procedures I had never heard of, and insurance requirements that had my head foggy. I didn't know what I didn't know. My husband works full time and I had stopped teaching when our twins were born so I am the end-all-be-all when it comes to advocating for Buster's needs. I take him to all of his appointments so I have picked up a few things along the way, but I also surprise myself with how much I know. What is the most important thing I know? MY CHILD. Mothers, fathers, caregivers KNOW their charge. Even when I couldn't decipher what was bothering Buster, I always, always felt it when something was off. I have presented my crazy at the pediatrician's office more times than I would like to admit, but guess what? I was always correct---something wasn't right with Buster. When it comes to my children I am not afraid to speak up for their benefit. What is my alternative, letting them suffer in pain because I'm too afraid of rocking the boat? No thank you.
Some of you are mothers, and some are fathers, and some are family members or caregivers---it does not matter. Doctors and nurses can miss things when examining your child, and you know them best. Maybe you remember something from earlier in the day that seems insignificant but could actually help diagnose the problem at hand. Maybe you see a major difference in your child's behavior that is not apparent at the doctor's appointment. Maybe the insurance company has decided a certain procedure or medicine is not "medically necessary" but you know it to be otherwise. Whatever it is, speak up. Speak up! Talk to your child's teacher when you're not sure if something is happening in class that has caused some challenges at home. Ask the state or county what opportunities there are for support for your child, either in school or while he or she is at home. If you don't like a doctor's bedside manner, switch doctors. If you don't feel the doctor or nurse is listening to you, switch medical teams. My husband and I chose our son's neurosurgeon because he made us and Buster feel important. We knew, INSTANTLY, that he was the right doctor for Buster. And don't even ask me how fast we knew when we were talking to a doctor who WASN'T the right fit. Everyone has an inner voice that guides them in making the right decisions, so listen to it. You are your child's voice and you should not be silenced.
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